


Lithium

by HopelessMasquerade



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: 7/4, M/M, POV!Furuhashi, Why Did I Write This?, i suck at fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 18:57:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopelessMasquerade/pseuds/HopelessMasquerade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I love the sound of falling raindrops, and I love how your voice sounds along them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lithium

I hate this.

I've been feeling like this for some time.

Since I was little, people got scared of my eyes. Yes. My eyes. My round, dead, empty eyes. They would tell me they're scary. I never managed to make a true friend, nor have someone I could really trust. Not in elementary school, not in middle school. Same's happening during high school.

I haven't told anybody. Not only because they wouldn't give a single fuck about it, but I'm afraid they'll judge me for that.

As for now, I'll simply hide it from people until someone decides to give a fuck about my feelings. I do have feelings. I simply dislike showing them. The fear of rejection, I think. Some shit like that.

Right now I find myself in one of Kirisaki's classrooms, watching as Hanamiya rearranges some sheets related to our team's analysis. He's always writing down comments about us and giving advice on how we could improve ourselves. He's incredibly rough when it comes to practice, sometimes making us practice during almost 4 hours. I do understand his goals and I don't really care. If he's happy harming people, let him be.

I quietly stare at the window, and the room is so silent I can almost hear his heartbeats. I love how the sky's tone is slowly changing from a bright, blue one to a pastel-ish orange, as the clouds slowly cover the sun, barely any sunbeam can be seen right now.

It'll start to rain soon.

Hanamiya gently hits my head with a bunch of sheets. He's probably annoyed by the fact that I haven't said anything since I got onto that classroom. All I did was sitting and staring at the window as clouds slowly began to cover the sky. I look at him, his beautiful green-grayish gaze locked onto my dark eyes. I wish I had his beautiful eyes. Or his intelligence. Both at the same time.

-Oi, Koujirou, - he says, using his usual cool tone. - You've been really distant lately.

Not like I'm rarely a distant person. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to look away from him. But I just can't. God I sometimes wish I was him. He probably doesn't have to deal with appearance issues, just his huge eyebrows.

-It's nothing. - My voice is as cold and monotone as usual. It's one of the few things about me that I like. - Anyway, what do you mean with distant?

-Fucking hell. You never talk to anyone?

The truth is that I'm not using to talks. Neither with my family, nor with my teammates. Everyone. I'm afraid they'll be judging me. I feel like I'm annoying them. Specially if I'm talking with someone like Hanamiya.

-I don't like talking.

-There's something wrong with you.

 _You knew_. I slowly sigh as I stare back at the window, trying to count the many raindrops that are slipping down the window. Rain has always been really relaxing for me. I could spend countless evenings at nights just looking at raindrops falling, enjoying their sound. It's weird.

I close my eyes and look back at him, mildly smiling. I don't know why I was smiling at that moment. It was probably because I was talking with one of the few people I trusted. _Or was it the rain?_ I don't know. I just don't care at all.

-You do know me better than I know myself.

-Just tell me _what the fuck_ is wrong with you. - My smile fades as I look again at the rain, quietly listening to the calming sound of raindrops falling, as I try not to get too nervous.

I now begin talking.

-I don't really feel comfortable at all with myself. - I'm now looking straight at him, as I felt like he would rant at me if I kept looking at the rain. And dear god, the rain's sound is so calming that it's helping me to talk properly. I feel my voice drying as I keep talking. - I dislike my eyes. I dislike how people avoid me when they see me at the street. It makes me feel bad with myself. It's like... I felt worthless all the time.

He makes a 'tsk'-like sound with his mouth. I'm used to him doing that sound, and I think it's an unique trait from him. He reaches my cheek with his hand, slighly nipping it. I wonder why he did this, but I feel like it's something good. He sighs, like he was going to forgive what he's about to do, and releases his hand from my cheek, putting that same hand over my shoulder.

-...The fuck are you saying, your dumbass? There's no reason you should feel bad about yourself. I think what you've said it's bullshit. - _And he's right_. - If people dislike your eyes, fuck 'em. Stop being so fragile over such stupid things, Koujirou.

 _He's right. He's totally right._ The rain intensifies, sound of falling raindrops running through my ears. It's such a sweet sound, I wonder why people dislike it. He gently slaps my forehead, and along the raindrops, I swear I can hear him breathing. This room is so damn quiet it's almost possible for me to hear our breathes, and even our heartbeats.

-You're right... I should stop worrying over such stupid things.

-Fucking hell, you must. It's a bad habit and you'll end up hurting yourself if you continue like that. - He picks up the sheets and thus his bag, walking towards the door. - Now let's get the fuck out of here. Our teachers will get angry if we stay any longer.

I'm surprised at how caring Hanamiya can be sometimes. But he's always denying that he has this caring, sweet side of his. He'll keep being this cold-hearted fucker we all know until he finally admits how of a good person he can be.

-...Anyway, Hanamiya. Did you bring an umbrella? - He looks at me, frowning his eyebrows, as I walk towards him, opening the door.

-Did you? - He can see the answer in my eyes.

-Fucking shit... Go call your father or something, someone that can take us home by car. I'm not risking anything.

-Being honest, _I thought you would run under the rain_ -

He interrumpts me, pushing me so I get out the classroom, as he exits after me. Again he sighs, now pouting. And I swear it's the very first time I've seen him pouting. He's no longer frowning, and he slaps my forehead again, this time somewhat stronger than before. As the rain keeps falling, he looks again at me, his sharp, almost gray eyes fixed on mine.

-Just call someone, for fuck's sake.

I gently smile as I close my eyes, picking up my phone and searching for someone who can pick us, as we slowly begin to walk to the entrance.

And I wish I could spend just a bit of time with him, because I feel more confident by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> One of my headcanons with Furuhashi includes him having low self esteem.
> 
> Happy 7/4.


End file.
